before

before words became bruises,

before your hand was a weapon, 

before my shirt lost its white,

and before tears were my food,

you were my father

and i was your son.

      avp

                      AVP

van Gogh

he freed his fingers from my hand

to paint his own van Gogh

on the side of another square

he felt was a better fit.

                                                                          avp

huckleberry

with a carnival balloon in hand

and paper banjos playing softly beside the river

he walked home,

pausing only for a moment

to released the fictional helium hope

of ever finding his own huckleberry …

                                                                                           avp

jealous

 thickly layered and fragile

he sat in his safe space

framed by the things he’d become.

jealous for never taking chances

or challenging his truths

made of glue and antiseptic.

                                                                                   avp

passed

with the flowers quickly fading

and his parents passed,

he listened for their whisper through the rain

just to have some small hope 

he wasn’t alone.

                                      avp

coquettish

wearing his favorite t-shirt

and a coquettish grin,

he played board games

with dice and peoples hearts

losing his turn at love…

on his final spin.

                                                                            avp

without

within the broken heart

is a voice without a sound,

birds without a song,

stained glass without light,

stars without the night,

healing without mistakes

and a life without love.

                                          avp

hides

he hides himself away

in a corner where nobody can see

he never bleeds,

he never heals.

                            avp

shy

even his pen was too shy 

to say the choler words he felt,

afraid they’d awaken his dormant stones of pain.

so the words remained trapped inside the timid ink

of immearsurable emotions unanswered,

 never to be written.

                                                                avp